January 2011 (Part 4)

1/24-  We’ve now told all the family!!!  I hated to tell my dad over the phone since this was his first “real” grandchild (of course Kneesa bear was the first grand puppy but child….that will call him granddad….I wanted to tell him in person but timing just wasn’t on our side (yet again it seems).  We had plans to go to Todd's house for Madison & Morgan's 17th bday and tell them in person but Shannon came down with a sore throat and was feeling sick.  So we called them too.   We have started to tell our close friends too!!  YAY!  I’ve had to go to the extremes and block everyone from writing on my FB wall b/c I know how some people won’t think about the fact that I haven’t made it public and without thinking about it- will probably post something on my wall.  I want my professors to know firsthand, not via FB.  Therefore- I blocked everyone.  BOO!   But I’ll unblock in the next few days.   

OHH and I had to get measured for Toni’s bridesmaid’s dress.  I’m not even going to say what size they are suggesting I order given I will be 38 weeks pregnant, more less the fact that my current measurements are already a few inches more in the breasts, belly and hips than normal.  Come on!!  Just because I’m short doesn’t mean I need to start showing at 11-12 weeks does it!?  Haha  Miss Kneesa bear doesn’t seem to know yet.  We do take naps together all the time, but what dog doesn’t love nap time!? HA.  I wonder how she’ll act during my pregnancy!?  I hope she has that extra sense and just knows.  She is great with children so that is good, minus the fact she wants to lick them in the mouth.  I can’t wait to teach my child how to interact with dogs all the while watch Kneesa be a big sister!!!!  Our family of 3 is growing!!  I know she will get jealous but I promise to make time for her.  If I have to have “baby and me” time and “Kneesa and mommie” time—I will.  She is just as important to me today as she has been for the last 8 years.  This family wouldn’t be the same without her and I’m just so happy to share this special journey with her too.    I'm banking on the fact that she will live for 18 years.  I think that's the longest a Lhasa Apso has lived and I'm shooting for that.  She's 8 this year so I'm praying she'll be around for all our children.  Sunday (1/30) I will be 12 weeks!! 

1/26- I talked to Prof. Dawson today.  It has helped my anxiety with “PA school” knowing as she was very understanding and willing to work with me.  We mapped out a tentative rotation schedule based on the time I would need off and she is going to announce it to the other professors during their Monday board meeting.  I'm sure coming up with a "Plan A and Plan B" will still not go as planned...but it was worth the effort.  I feel much better about it.  I plan to start early during our 3 week break in June so that I can get 8 weeks in before I'm due instead of only 4 weeks and having to "waste" 2 weeks waiting around.  I plan to tell a couple of PA friends and let the others find out via FB or word of mouth.  I don't think it's appropriate to stand up and make an announcement about it.  Plus, I know how fast rumors spread and if I had to guess- after I tell a few- all 54 students will know within 24hr if not 5hr! haha

It’s been fun telling people.  It makes me smile and realize stress shouldn’t be the main factor when I tell people I'm pregnant…nor should dwelling on the fact that it was earlier than anticipated.  I realized that when I was telling my friends, I seemed to focus on all the negatives and stressors that are to come and not the actual excitement and joy that God has blessed us with.  I am happy and this is exciting.  But I will admit it was hard the first few weeks.  I was caught off guard and let everything build up until I broke down.  We are happy and we want children so that’s all that should matter.   Heck- I was upset (before I started school) about the fact that I would be going on 32 when I graduated and having my first child...so now it looks like I'll still be 30.  That's a positive.  HA.  I mean by the time I'm done with rotations, our child will be 1yr old.  Guess we could start thinking about #2.  hhahaha  

I think I’m going to start mediating (we mediated in class the other day so now I'm on a kick- I need a Guru!!  Nami- I need your dad!).  Maybe that will help.  If I could get a daily massage, I would but since I know that’s not an option- mediation will have to do.  It is free.  I need a way to release my ohhh so lovely thoughts that like to creep up and remind me of all the “unknowns” come August.   It’s hard to believe that come Sunday, I will only have 28 weeks left.  It doesn’t really seem that long.  Which means- didactic year isn’t that long either! Woot Woot!  I have a feeling this will be a busy summer.  I think I will thoroughly enjoy registering though!!   

The funniest thing happened.  Well not really funniest...but Marsha (PA friend) texted me on Wed (1/26) and said "would you like all of my maternity clothes" ..I was about to crap my pants.  I was thinking "how in the world does she know!?  Is it some motherly sense and she can just tell by looking at me!?  Ohh goodness.  So I just responded with "hahah sure"  and she brought them to me on Thursday.  I was about to die.  I asked her "why did you ask me" and she just said b/c she knows I will have kids and she's cleaning out her closets but I am surprised I didn't have it written all over my face.  I wanted to tell her to laugh about it ...but I'm waiting until the weekend.