I went to Dr. Bulter (well Dr. Green b/c DR B was sick) about the pain on 12/16. He felt my cervix and said he believes all is well but he wants a U/S done before Christmas to verify it’s not an ectopic pregnancy. I made the appointment for Thursday (12/23) the same day as our appointment with the midwife to do paperwork on our health hx. I am still having pain. Maybe my tolerance for pain is quite low, but I still do not think this is normal. I will have such bad pain, that I become nausea and want to vomit. If this is some form of morning sickness, I am NOT a fan. It will be much easier when we can openly talk about this to people so I can ask for advice from my friends that have had children. Shannon has been completely awesome through all of this, but having a close (girl) friend that has gone through pregnancy would be nice to consult with. I’m still in a slight stage of disbelief to be quite honest. I just don’t feel like this is real. I know I’m ready and Shannon definitely has been for awhile so it should be an interesting journey. Shannon is cute though, he is constantly rubbing my belly and reading articles on the internet and will report to me on things (i.e. our baby aka Hagar (don’t ask) is the size of a blueberry or what foods/medicines I can’t take). Maybe if this pain was gone, I could actually enjoy knowing I’m pregnant. But at this point, I just want the pain to go away (12/19).
Well Thursday (12/23) came and Shannon & I headed to Dr. Butler’s office. First appointment was the U/S with Dr. Green. It was strange to see my uterus and there it was- a small peanut size ball on the side of my uterus. He said it was a normal looking pregnancy thus far (meaning no ectopic- Thank you God!!) but I did have a cyst on my right ovary which could be aiding in the pain and it might be colicky due to the fact it hasn’t ruptured yet. He said some pain is normal though and when I asked him why my friends have never mentioned such: his response was- they all forget about this pain after labor pain. OHHH GREAT!
We received a printout of our first Ultrasound of baby Hord. This made it seem a bit more real and exciting!!! It also seemed that my due date was a bit off based on the size of the peanut. He said it looks like August 14th is the due date and that’s what he is going to go with from here on out. Which means it will throw off the date of telling everyone. Feb 3rd will put us at 12 weeks. I go back to the doctor on Jan 20th for what, I’m not sure and then a week later for U/S #2 (at 12wk) which is when we should hear the heartbeat. I was really hoping to announce this to the family after my White Coat Ceremony because we would all be together because I’m not sure when we will be again. I really don’t want to tell our parents this news over the phone. I guess we will play it by ear. I had a slight case of relief with a week later date only because of Toni’s wedding on July 30th. I am still worried about telling her. I just don’t want this to stress her out because I’m going to be a freaking balloon during her wedding or possibly even IN labor. I will apologize to T but I will not let this ruin her big day! I promise! Baby Hord will NOT come on July 30th!! After the U/S, we headed to meet Midwife Noel. We were asked a series of health questions and she talked to us about dos and don’ts and then I went downstairs for blood work. It still just doesn’t seem real to me even with all the congratulations and goodie bags from the OB/GYN office. I don’t know why. Maybe because it all happened so suddenly and until I hear the heartbeat or see “human” features, it won’t hit me. Or maybe once we can openly talk about it, it will seem real. Maybe this is what denial feels like. There are times I try to tell myself this isn’t happening although I’m not sure why because I know we want children and if it weren’t for school, we already would have…scared I guess!? Again I know that sounds so bad and I almost hate myself for even saying it, but it’s my thoughts and I’m writing this purely on my emotions.
Our first U/S- Baby Hord 6 wk (sorry you can see my phone- I promise I dont have green in my uterus!!) haha
This is me (I hate taking self pix) at 6wk 2days, let's pray that my 5' height doesn't cause me to look like a balloon by week 15!!!
The Christmas weekend was actually easier to keep quiet than I thought; probably because we were so busy traveling. We went to Owensboro on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and then headed to Vanceburg Christmas Day and the day after. It is so great to see all the family but we are both so worn out from traveling from one side of KY to the other. We really want to find a better way to spend the holidays with family. The next holiday (NYE) will be a tough “trick” to keep hidden from friends. I’ve done well by somewhat avoiding any nightly activity/outing with friends, although I hate that because I feel like I’m turning my back on friends I would love to spend time with on this break from school. I don’t know what else to do though. I haven’t noticed any huge changes yet besides the fact that my breasts are super tender and swollen and I have to take naps daily or I can barely function. Side note: blessing in disguise that I am on a 4wk break from school so that the pain, tenderness and extreme fatigue can come and I have nothing to do but rest.
Celebrating Christmas at our house. Our last Christmas as a family of 3. 
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