The first few weeks of December were awful, still unaware of this “tiny creature” that was implanting itself in my uterus for the next few months. The pain I was experiencing in my suprapubic region was unbearable. I also noticed a change in my bowl habits, which are very regular, and that bothered me. I didn’t give a thought that pregnancy could be an issue at this point. I have had cysts on my ovaries twice and that was the pain I was feeling except it was colicky which was not a typical sign of a ruptured cyst. I chalked it up to constipation from the extra iron or vitamins I was taking. Even Paige, Nicole & Casey experienced me going through this pain during school/studying and told me I looked green at one point. Although Casey was convinced I was having an ectopic pregnancy, I thought he was crazy and just knew there was no way. I laughed it off because I was thoroughly convinced it was constipation. After 10-12 days of 5min excruciating pain every 4-5hrs, I decided to call my PCP. I was advised that I can try Gas-X but then I was asked when my last menstrual period was. I sat there and pondered. I honestly couldn’t remember the exact day but realized I hadn’t had one in December. I think I might have had a mental syncope moment. I was speechless and finally mustered up “I’m not sure”. She told me to take a test and call if I needed anything else. At this point, I was scared. I started to think that Casey might be right. Could I really be pregnant and with all this pain, could it likely be ectopic?
Well Friday, Dec 10th was the day, mind you the Friday before Finals Week, that my life was turned upside down. I am waiting for Shannon to get home, trying to study for Pharmacology and other senseless classes this semester that has kept me overwhelmed. I talked to Shannon on his drive home, nervous, scared, sick and flustered (but did not mention pregnancy as a potential underlying cause) and then decided I would go ahead and take a pregnancy test before he got home. I was still somewhat convinced there was no way I could be so I wanted to take the test to get it over with without telling him and get back to studying. The first (negative) line came up quickly and a large part of me was relieved. I had taken the trash bag out so I left the test on the sink while I went to the kitchen to get a new trash bag to put in the bin. I came back to throw the test away and by God it was positive. I felt my insides drop and I cried …. I didn’t know what else to do. I came back to the kitchen table somewhat in shock. There I sat, staring at my pharm notes trying to absorb a ton of drug interactions, names and MOAs that I could for my exam, that I became overwhelmed with the thought of this happening. I have so much going on right now- school, running my 30 races, starting rotations, Shannon working in Lville, us being on one income, being in a wedding in July ’11, when to move to Lville….everything just started to consume me. I couldn’t stop crying. There was a small part of me that was happy because we have been so ready for this…but when faced with reality, I was scared shitless. This is not what I have planned out! (HA- God works on His schedule and I guess this is my lesson to “let things happen”). I had a horrible feeling of guilt for not wanting the test to be positive but at the same time slightly OK with the answer that stared back at me. I was just so confused. By the time Shannon got home, I had stopped crying and I told him to go to the bathroom. His expression was priceless. He came back out to me grinning from ear to ear saying “so does that mean….” And I just cried again. I wanted to be as happy as he was…but I couldn’t. School is so important to me that I couldn’t think of anything else but that. So we decided to take another test, it was faint, but still positive. Well we were in shock and nothing else could happen on a Friday night because we really didn’t know what to say or do. We went to eat for a friend’s birthday that evening and back to semi-studying I went. Saturday morning I decided to take another test before my race. This test was negative. So now we were confused. 2 positive tests and 1 negative test on top of pain. I knew I needed to make an appointment with my PCP. But the remainder of the weekend consisted of Shannon putting me on a low caffeine restriction, which was not fun and me trying to study, which was not going as planned. I can not study. There's just no way. I'm going to regret it, but my wandering mind can't concentrate right now.
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