So what's the big deal.....

with 11/11/11....UGH!  
I might have liked this date but given the type of day I ended up having, it definitely goes down on the books as one of the worse days I will remember. 

I was off from my ER rotation and I thought I'd spend it studying, being with Cam and Kneesa and making it great since my 31st birthday was the following day.  I had accomplished a goal (post to come later) before my 31st and I was proud to enjoy this weekend. 

Boy, was I wrong....Kneesa had a grooming appointment at 8am....off she goes (which she hates) and I'm back home to study....well hang with Cam.  I ran to Kroger around 12p, patiently waiting for the groomer at Sheabel to call for me to come get K.  Low and behold, my phone rings.  It's some new vet MD (Dr Lynch left and Kneesa's replacement doc-Dr Jude, that we've met a few times, was on vaca hence my frustration, aggravation, and anger in regards to some new vet telling me this over the phone) calling to inform me she looked at her ears (which I requested) and she indeed had an ear infection but she also wanted to discuss with me a new finding.  She informed me that Kneesa has a new onset heart murmur (at least it was never charted in the 9.5yr of her life spent at Sheabel).  While she is "dumbing down" the explanation, not knowing my medical background, I am silently crying on the other end.  Yes, I know some heart murmurs are innocent.  But when it comes to my dog....everything goes out the door.  My knowledge is hidden in the background and my mind starts envisioning the 'worse case scenarios"....finally this newly graduated Vet asks if I understand and realized I had been crying.  She was apologetic but that didn't stop the flood gates.  She asked permission to do X-rays and an Echo, told me the prices and of course I agreed.  I sat in the Kroger parking lot hysterically crying and called Shannon.  Luckily, he was working from home so I just needed to make it back to the house. 

I proceeded to cry the rest of the day.  My life with K dog flashing before me....my possible life without K in the future.....it was just too unbearable to comprehend.  The Vet said she would call me back within a few minutes because she wanted to call the Echo doc to make sure he could come to Sheabel and do the test that day.  WELL,  she obviously doesn't know me because after 2 hours passed and I had not gotten a phone call, I dialed up Sheabel and informed the front desk that "this new grad promised to call me back but has yet to do so..."  (Did I mention my obsession with Kneesa....yes, they must cater to me). 

Another hour passed and around 3:30 that day (so NO studying has gotten done at this point....only tears) the phone rings.  She apologized (again) about not calling me back and wanted to discuss the results.  She stated the x-ray and echo on Kneesa's heart showed no clinical pathology at this point so she is not necessarily worried with that for now.  She said they will continue to watch it though since it's a new onset murmur but no medication is necessary.  She said there was a tiny bit of regurg in the pulmonary valve but nothing of big concern. Which is good.....BUT......   (ohh that's all I wanted to hear was that word..."BUT"),  they found 3 small spots located between her heart and lungs that the radiologist reported "needs further investigation".   She stated it could simply be a fungal infection....or calcification due to age...both of which are benign, but the bigger issue is the fact they could be tumors.  OPEN FLOOD-GATES.......  She asked if she could do some blood work to check her CBC/CMP as well as a fungal titer.  She said the titer would take a few days and she would call me as soon as the results came back. 

Needless to say, 11/11/11 SUCKED, for lack of better words.  My world has revolved around Kneesa bear for the last 9.5 years of my life.  She entered my world the year I graduated college and has been with me through ALOT since 2002.  She accepted and loves Shannon and Cameron and together we make one happy family.  To me, she's still a young pup.  I had Shannon go with me to pick her up because I just knew I'd lose it again (which I did).  Dr. Etison showed us the X-rays and explained everything again before we got to see my sweet angel.  She also said (unrelated to this issue) to not feed her human food anymore unless its carrots or plain grilled chicken so that her pancreas remains in good condition.  Are you kidding me lady!?  My dog is too high maintenance and will not eat carrots.  She snuffs her nose to day old sausage, seriously.   Like she's going to eat a freaking carrot when she gets her own McDonald's cheeseburger when daddy gets them lunch.  Oh, and the stupid vet put "senior physical exam"--  excuse me; please do NOT refer to my dog child as a "senior".  She is NOT.  I honestly can't imagine my life without her.  I do know there will be the time that she won't be here, but I need many more years with her.  I'm just not emotionally ready to lose my 'first child' anytime soon.

On Saturday, Dr Etison (the same new grad doc) called me while I was waiting for my deep tissue birthday massage to inform me her CBC & CMP came back perfectly normal.  She's still waiting for the fungal titer.  I said "I know that's good...but part of me wanted it to show something so that we know it's an easy fix...because if everything keeps coming back normal....what's left in the differential diagnosis but the worse case....".  She understood where I was coming from (by this point in time she knew I had a medical background and I'd do anything for Kneesa) and suggested to me that let's wait for the fungal titer and then we can go from there but either a referral to an Internal Med Specialist or possibly just doing repeat X-rays in a month to see if there's any changes considering Kneesa isn't showing ANY signs or symptoms of being 'sick'. 

So, here I am waiting.......  for those of you reading this, please keep Kneesa in your prayers that everything comes back OK and this is not a tumor or something that will take her away from me.  I know that's being selfish, but I need her....I want her to be around Cam growing up and to meet our other children we have and to continue being that sweet angel girl of mine that I love unconditionally for almost 10 years now.....please...please pray for her.  

So here's a recent picture and video of Cam and Kneesa. She loves her brother.  :o)

(video to come later.....need to size it down)

 

I LOVE me some KK and Cam-a-lam!!!